After the interview, his Grand Vizier, a strangely familiar-looking blonde woman with an Australian accent, suggested I tour the surrounding countryside. Before I knew it, I found myself on a train bound for NOWHERE!

It was delightful at first—I was in a first-class car, looking out at scenic panoramas, supping on caviar and boiled mutton on crackers, washed down with a teensy bit of excellent champagne. But soon, STRANGE things started to happen! During the night, I was startled awake when the train came to a screeching halt. Peering out the window, I saw movement in the darkness outside. I rang for a porter but no one answered. After half an hour or so, we were underway again, but the next morning the employees behaved as if NOTHING had happened!

Then people began to DISAPPEAR! Dear reader, let me tell you this reporter was getting WORRIED! By lunchtime, the dining car was half empty, and the waiters were avoiding me! Only one person would meet my eyes—a mysterious Asian woman, clad in all black leather, who was stabbing her boiled mutton with a VERY SHARP knife. So, DAUNTLESS in pursuit of a story, I whipped out my notebook and my camera and sat down across from the sinister woman in black.

And THAT, Rainyverse fans, is the very LAST thing I remember! I woke up in the airport in Ulaanbataar, feeling bruised and abused, my camera and all my notes MISSING – everything but my interview with Shiwan Khan! Of course I protested to the authorities, but they were not at ALL helpful. They had the nerve to imply that I had had a bit too much to DRINK! Of course I will report this outrage to the embassy, but for now, this reporter is glad the ordeal is over!

Rita Skeeter, Special Rainyverse Correspondent

Young Elspeth was born in Italy but seems to have LOST TRACK of her parents somewhere along the way! She CLAIMS she doesn’t know where they are! What family SECRETS could she be hiding? Or was it just carelessness on the part of this beauty queen???

Like many of our contestants, Elspeth is dying to be famous, whether by playing bass in a band or in some other segment of the arts. She CERTAINLY has the strong ego required for fame — she likes her looks, her personality and everything ELSE about herself!! In fact, she states that she thinks she’s “just PERFECT”!

She lives with her sister Kennedy with whom she is “best friends” and one has to wonder if Kennedy agrees with Elspeth’s assessment of herself!!! At least one of her fellow contestants DOESN’T agree; as Elspeth claims that one of them is planning on stuffing her in a blender. Now whom do you suppose THAT sounds like, dear readers???

Ms Italy loves sightseeing in Rome and taking in the galleries, going for long moonlit walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, cuddling, and dressing in girly clothes. It also seems she has a strong preference for PINK underwear!!!!

She blushingly denies any romantic attachments but did let the name Kal-El slip past those pretty lips several times; once was right after talking about her pink underwear, as a matter of fact!!!! THIS reporter wonders if perhaps Kal-El already KNOWS what color her underwear is!!!!!!!!!!!

Although Sylph never divulged the answer to THAT question, she did give me a FASCINATING glimpse into her mind! And with a pet Balrog named Squishy, and a love-hate relationship with a friend that Balrog tried to EAT, Ms. NZ’s mind is certainly UNIQUE!

Sylph prides herself on her spontaneity, which may explain why she has never held down a job. Instead she prefers to, as she puts it, “Mooch my money off of stupid Barbies!” She describes herself as HAWT, but her love-life is ICE COLD at the moment. Sylph loves to travel on her vacations, and a girl without a job is ALWAYS on vacation!

If this pageant had a talent contest, Ms. New Zealand could wow the judges with her FAVORITE skill – scarfing 25 corn chips in mere moments! I can’t TELL you how much I regret missing this display of artistry!

Sylph wishes her fellow contestants good luck. And if her good wishes lack a little SINCERITY, well, this reporter will NEVER tell!

Rita Skeeter, Special Rainyverse Correspondent

Mr. Scotland’s warm brogue and traditional garb bely the fact that he is a seasoned world traveler and businessman. Owner of the exclusive Edinburgh shop MacAllen’s Antiques, favorite destination of the rich and antique-happy, Graeme’s work requires him to travel to interesting locations in search of historical and valuable goodies.

His shop is housed in a 17th century building which he claims is HAUNTED. His anecdotes are as FASCINATING as the man himself!

Gorgeous Graeme is disappointingly reticent about his background! He did reveal that his family DISAPPROVES of his current occupation, and there are hints of aristocratic bloodlines, which Graeme REFUSES to confirm or deny!

I won’t say that his CHARM distracted me from digging further, but I was able to discover ONE thing. If you’re wondering what a Scotsman wears under his kilt, this reporter has the answer!

Rita Skeeter, Special Rainyverse Correspondent

Rumor ALSO has it that the non-appearance of Ms. Brazil Ava Gardiner is due to another “vacation” at AARGH – Ace Acme Rehabilitation, Growth and Health, the stars’ home away from home! Unkind members of the press are calling Ms. Gardiner the Norma Desmond of Rainyverse contestants!And finally, LAST YEAR’S winner of the swimsuit event got herself into a little hot water! Tai, the former Ms. Iceland, SHOCKED her fans by respnding somewhat disrespectfully to this reporter’s probing questions! Unfortunately for Tai, the incident was caught on camera! http://www.thedollpage.com/photopost/data/500/992taitongue.jpg

How is his love life NOW? This Antiguan hunk is surpisingly hard to pin down! He claims to be searching for the perfect woman, but this reporter wonders if Westley harbors SECRET FEELINGS for Luna that go deeper than friendship. Time will tell how this love triangle plays out! When the time comes, Westley will have no trouble finding a beautiful woman to heal his secret sorrow!

Rita Skeeter, Special Rainyverse Correspondent